I’ve always said Rocky was semi-autobiographical. Having grown up in the streets, I knew a million down and outers. I knew what they ate, where they worked, how they thought.
Most of all, I understood their broken dreams. I’m a guy who basically had to build himself from scratch.
Many men who are now strong and confident were once weak and timid.
The way to build self-confidence, strength of character and physical strength is slowly.
Brick by brick, piece by piece.
Every day of every year you add a little at a time.
Until one day the person you were is no more.
From old timers like Charles Atlas, John Wayne and Jack Lalanne to modern day self-made men like that “wolf guy” from True Blood Joe Manganiello, Ah-Nuld Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone and of course Bruce Wayne who would become the Batman, they are self made men who chose to develop themselves and their abilities.
These self made champions did not settle for what life handed them, but chose to mold their own destiny.
Because of birth complications, Stallone suffered from a severed nerve in his face that left him with partial paralysis in parts of his face, giving him his trademark droopy faced snarl, and at times slurred sounding speech.
As kid, Stallone was teased by his peers and he didn’t like it one bit. His role models included Superboy, Steeve Reeves (a bodybuilder an on screen “Hercules” and of course his parents. His father was a physically robust hard working man and his mother opened one of the first Women’s gyms in Washington, DC in 1954.
Mom started exercising with her father (who knew Charles Atlas) when she was very young, and grew up hitting a punching bag and tossing around a medicine ball – Sylvester Stallone, from his book “Sly Moves”
Stallone struggled for years to become an actor, working all sorts of dead end jobs just to get by. That his breakout film Rocky was such a hit was in his own words “a million to one shot“. Stallone wrote the story of Rocky himself, and eventually succeeded in selling it to a studio with himself attached to star in the film, despite not being a bankable name.
To pull off that sort of magic you need unrelenting determination, belief in yourself, dogged persistence, a “can do” attitude that never quits and yes, ENORMOUS self-confidence. If you can’t convince yourself of how important you and your dreams are, then you don’t have a chance in hell of convincing anyone else in this world how important you are.
Joe Manganiello used to be a timid skinny geek who grew up to be “that werewolf guy” on True Blood. Joe Manganiello became even more popular with his co-starring roles in Magic Mike and its sequel Magic Mike XXL. Joe has also released his own fitness and training/bodybuilding book and has hosted an episode of WWE Monday Night Raw with Hulk Hogan and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Joe defied cultural stereotypes by being both a genuine Geek and simultaneously an athlete as he grew up. What he learned along the way, is that you have to want to change and find that place in yourself, that reason to better yourself. He admits that alcohol was problem for him for a while, that is long behind him now, and he also gave up cigarettes, which were hurting his conditioning and level of fitness and health.
It’s not about what you can get away with, it’s about becoming the best you can possibly can be. It’s not about the exterior. The aesthetics wind up becoming a bi-product of this internal work. It’s more about motivating and being the best person you can be, and as a result your body will transform. It’s not about vanity it’s about evolving as a person. – Joe Manganiello on his workout ethos / GQ Magazine Online UK
John Wayne was born Marion Mitchell Morrison, a name he didn’t much care for. Some local firemen he would pass on the way to school gave him the nickname “Duke” and that name stuck around long enough for the boy to become a man and a screen legend beloved in America and around the world.
The good Duke rode off into sunsets and into our hearts as the model of hard work, integrity, kindness, dignity, strength, pride, self-confidence and self-reliance. John Wayne tried a bit of everything as he grew up. He was an athlete, and involved in 101 extra curricular activities through school and college. John Wayne was not afraid to try many different things, he was not afraid to fail and try new things.
Duke Morrison started as not just an extra but an all rounder on film sets, pitching in and getting involved with anything he could. John Ford took an interest in the young man, and eventually after a decade of B-Westerns Ford put Wayne in the film that would become his breakout role and a genuine Western classic – Stagecoach.
But John Wayne did not become a living legend overnight. He worked, harder than most other actors, and he built himself from who he was – Marion Mitchell Morrison, into who he became – America’s most beloved screen Cowboy The Duke one step at a time.
Captain America is the fantasy of every skinny kid who wants to grow up big and strong. While Steve Rogers gained tremendous muscle and power from the super soldier process and seemingly did not have to work for his strength, he still had to train himself in combat. Steve Rogers the man possessed tremendous willpower, kindness, bravery and self-confidence before he ever became Captain America.
In stories where Cap lost his powers, Steve Rogers the man still showed the same courage, will power, determination and resilience that is at the heart of Captain America.
Steve Roger’s bravery, heart, guts, integrity and character did not come from the super soldier process, they were there to begin with. He built those qualities brick by brick. A lesser man would not have been chosen for the Super Soldier program.
Steve Rogers is every skinny kid in America who wants to grow into a “real” man. While muscles and an athletic physique are naturally desirable (and a worthwhile pursuit) being a “real” man is every bit as much about developing character, confidence and the courage of ones convictions – and that is something that every person can develop in themselves if they choose to. The Sentinel of Liberty may have been gifted genetic enhancements by science, but the man and his self-confidence and belief had to be built up brick by brick.
Bruce Wayne could have lived a soft and cushy life of comfort, he could have given up on himself and on life after the brutal murder of his parents before his eyes when he was as child. Instead he remade himself into a modern day urban legend. A mountain of a man – he wills himself to be the best detective, and crime fighter in the world and he puts in the hard work to become what he imagined he wanted to be.
Bruce Wayne remade himself piece by piece, step by step, brick by brick until the timid terrorised child was no more. In his place was a man of iron will, courage, determination, passion and devotion to his never ending war on crime. Batman’s desire to stop criminals and serve the needs of others knows no limits. He knowingly fights an impossible battle he can not ever win.
Bruce Wayne fights a never ending war on crime in his persona as Batman. He stops the maniacs and the mob that are beyond the reach of ordinary cops. As Bruce Wayne – businessman and philanthropist – Wayne invests in the community, social programs and more to not only fight the symptoms of crime, but build a better future, a better Gotham by addressing the true needs of the people he serves.
As Batman he punches crime in the face, and he will not stop. EVER. Everyday Batman rededicates himself to his cause, he renews his vows to war on crime and terrorise the underworld the way they terrorised him as a child.
Being Batman means making sacrifices, it means giving up on luxuries and soft living, it means utter and total dedication to ones cause with little time for the “normal” activities of life. In this sense Batman is somewhat of a Zealot, he is fanatical in his training, in his application of intelligence, to being the best version of himself he can be.
Batman proves that man who CAN make a difference, that an individual can stand up for the common good, to crime and corruption, one man can say “ENOUGH” to the insanity of crime the mob and corrupt cops and “YES” to Justice.
The transformation from scared child to unrelenting crime fighting machine did not happen over night for Batman. He trained himself in various arts step by step. As his skills and abilities grew, so did his confidence. Bruce Wayne built self-confidence brick by brick, one piece at a time.
If we choose to, we can do build the same type of self-confidence in our own lives. We can build confidence through real world experience, and we don’t have to suffer through some horrific tragedy to inspire us to be the strongest version of ourselves.
One day you wake up and the person you were is no more.
The transformation from a timid child to a confident man is total. People you meet in life feel your immediate presence. They feel your firm handshake, your warm smile, your good posture, physical strength and strength of character. You radiate charm, confidence and sincerity. The kind of confidence that Batman / Bruce Wayne has that you just can’t fake.
This type of transformation is not easy it takes time, and it takes a lot of effort. Above all it takes the will to try, to experiment with new behaviors and new learning. And it takes a consistent effort day by day that never wavers.
It takes a consistent and even effort day by day to reach new heights and stop making excuses for living a mediocre life. To stop justifying why you can’t do something and simply believe in yourself and in your plan. Whatever your goals in life may be, you move towards them one step at a time and live the life you intend.
Building Self-Confidence is one of the most important things any man or woman will ever do. I am a man so I tend to use the male pronoun in my writing. But male and female, young or old can take the same lessons and apply them. Confidence is not the domain of any one individual or group.
You don’t have to be a weight lifter or athlete or Batman to develop self-confidence, but it doesn’t hurt.
What does matter is that you cultivate your body and your mind. Neglect either and your total self-confidence will never be what it could be.
Neglect any part of yourself and that weakness will show through to every person you meet without ever saying a world.
A confident person carries themselves with a spring in their step. They know that life is on their side, and they spring out of bed with something to look forward to each day. The man of true self-confidence is always learning and growing and challenging himself as a human being, and continually pushes past artificial self imposed limits.
Those who have no confidence in themselves and their own abilities can never convince others of their worth. The confident man gets the job or makes the sale or accomplishes the task he set himself not through inflating his sense of self, but by honestly expressing himself and daily taking action towards his dreams and goals.
People who live without self-confidence in their actions remain in patterns of self-defeating behavior that will sabotage their efforts for a lifetime.
Any “confidence” they project will be false and worthless, a man (or woman) of real confidence, strength and integrity is unshakable, their will is absolute.
Real self-confidence expects nothing, and gives everything.
Confidence, sincerity, passion, enthusiasm and honesty are the values that will thrust an individual in the direction of their dreams like an unstoppable force of nature, like the unstoppable Batman who just keep moving forward no matter what. These are the values epitomised by characters like Superman, Batman, Captain America, Wonder Woman and other great timeless heroic characters.
When faced with difficulties and challenges in life, the confident self-assured person facces them knowingly and willingly, knowing that struggle and challenge are the proving grounds of life. We are never saddled with a challenge or difficulty in life without also the ability to also overcome that challenge, to use that struggle as fuel to grow into a more evolved and well rounded person.
Real self-confidence comes not from any external source, but from the power within our own hearts and minds. Confidence is not dependent on being an athlete or physical culturist, those are just examples – Christopher Reeve for example was still a vital confident and outspoken man after he lost the use of most of his body. Christopher Reeve continued to be an inspiring real life hero after his career as the worlds best on screen Superman.
Chris Reeve’s books Still Me and Nothing is Impossible memoirs are testaments to hard work, determination, strength of character, strength of will and unbeatable confidence.
The man who can be beat is the man who gives up on himself and his dreams.
The man who never gives up, can never truly be beaten. It is one of the reasons we love Batman. It is why Christopher Reeve in real life is just as inspiring as his persona of Superman.
The confident man who takes a hard road day by day. He builds himself one brick at a time.
His efforts are ceaseless and untiring.
There is no great secret to being this kind of person, other than choosing to be who you already imagine yourself to be in your heart of hearts.
To find our way out of the confusion of doubt, insecurity, and indecision the simplest way is to look for good role models and emulate them. To find people who have already done what we seek to achieve and see HOW they went about their accomplishments. We model those who have come before us who have done great things so that we too may be great.
Batman learned from the example of The Shadow and Zorro, forerunners who helped to inspire him in his quest for Justice and War on Crime.
It is up to your seek out your own role models and find out how they became good at what they do. Confidence comes with practicing our abilities, talents and skills and applying them daily in the art of living.
The confident man is the man who chooses to be confident. Who experiments with his own life. Who tries new things and instead of beating himself up when he fails, learns from his failures and moves on. The confident man is too busy celebrating and mentally reliving his victories in his mind, creating powerful emotional associations that help him build on his successes.
No matter how big or small his victories and successes the man of confidence keeps a record of his greatest mental movies and he reviews them regularly. He may do so daily or weekly. The confident man sees failure not as failure but as essential feedback in the ongoing process of self-actualization. He builds on his successes and learns from his failures.
The man of true confidence sees and experiences failure as a great benefit to his way of being. Those who have not failed in life, can never truly succeed for they have not dared to go to places where they must to become who life is asking them to be.
Where there is pain there is growth, where there is struggle and resistance comes new learning and transcending of ones circumstance. The strongest sword is forged is the hottest fire. The strongest most confident individual is not the man with the cushy life of soft living luxury and excess, but the man with the difficult life who makes the best of it and accepts his challenges with gratitude. Knowing that every action, every plan that does not work is driving him closer to his goals, closer to the plans and actions that DO work out.
The pain young Bruce Wayne went through when his parents were shot right before his eyes was horrific. But as horrible as that event was, Bruce would not become Batman without that defining moment. From his tragedy came great strength. From his tragedy came the fire of passion and pain that would eventually forge young Bruce Wayne into the living weapon that is Batman. From that one tragic moment was born the fire in Bruce Wayne’s heart that always burns.
In that moment of unspeakable tragedy, the seeds were sown that would eventually transform Bruce Wayne from an ordinary mortal into a modern myth – the Batman. An unrelenting one man army who never stops in his crusade to terrorise and dismantle Gotham’s underworld.
Batman is a metaphor for the alchemy of our own soul. He symbolises how to integrate and transform our darkest impulses and direct them toward our highest good.
A man of confidence is not infallible. He may have doubts and make mistakes. We are all human.
The difference is the CAN DO confident man gets off his ass and takes action every day.
the “can’t won’t don’t” man refuses to lift a finger to help himself, does nothing and justifies his every vice when he should instead be building virtues.
The can do man relives mental movies of all his successes and greatest joys in life daily.
The failure man relives mental movies of all his greatest failures and excuses and wonders why he feels miserable.
The can do attitude man and the failure attitude man – Which one will YOU be?
As babies we learn to crawl, then walk, then run.
It is hard for a baby to crawl.
It is hard for a baby to even lift its heavy head.
But without that challenge, the babies leg and torso muscles would never grow strong enough to for it to be able to walk at all. A baby lifting its head gets one hell of a workout. From resistance comes strength and growth.
No resistance = no strength, no growth
Christopher Reeve after his paralysis inducing horse riding accident instead of becoming a weaker broken man, became a man stronger in mind and spirit. How did he find that inner strength? It may be different for each person, but we all have to reach down into out very depths and find our own motivation, our own mission in life. Chris made his mission helping others through being a spinal cord research advocate, as well as his work with various charities and organisations around rehabilitation and stem cell research.
His body may have become weaker after his accident, but his mind became stronger. As a man he radiated the same confidence and charm he had before he had his accident. Proving that you don’t need to a bodybuilder or athlete to be confident in who you are. Self-confidence comes from authentically being who you already are, owning every strength and every flaw, not making excuses or trying to justify your existence to anyone for any reason.
If there is something you don’t know how to do, rather than faking your way through life like a con-man in a B-movie, instead learn the skills you need to become confident at your chosen task or responsibility.
You build on your strengths, and while you don’t ignore your weaknesses, you don’t let them hold you back.
Celebrate, build on and yes – mentally relive your greatest successes in vivid detail, but learn also from your failures, and vow to be a little better tomorrow than you were yesterday.
Men such as Jack Lalanne and Joe Manganiello who were once weak in mind and body humbled themselves and learned what they needed to do to transform into the men they imagined themselves to be.
Bruce Wayne imagined himself as highly trained and capable in his mind, then he went out in the world and became what he had already imagined himself to be.
Joe Manganiello imagined himself as big, confident and strong – and found a way.
Steve Rogers imagined being the man he wanted to be in his mind first, before it happened in reality.
Jack Lalanne, American fitness pioneer – and one of the fittest and strongest men that ever walked the planet – was once a skinny kid who ate “mostly junk food” and knew nothing about Nutrition or Strength Training. That kid grew up to open some of the earliest gymnasiums in America and promote healthy lifestyles and healthy foods all over the world for decades. What was Jack’s secret?
He IMAGINED who he wanted to be in his mind first. Jack Lalanne saw Paul Bragg on stage and knew he wanted to be healthy and strong like his role model. Jack may not have known how to become like Paul Bragg, but he knew it was possible, and he found a way to better himself through emulating his role model.
A young Sly Stallone looked up to Steve Reeves and saw what was possible.
A young Arnold Schwarzenegger looked up to and emulated Reg Park, and saw “what was possible”.
What did these men all have in common? They had the burning desire to better themselves, to be more than they were. They had the passion and determination to find a way, BEFORE they knew how to grow confident and strong. They could see in others what was possible.
Most importantly they had to admit the POSSIBILITY into their own minds that they too could better themselves, they had to get past their own self-imposed doubts, insecurities and thoughts like “I can’t do it”.
These men of confidence and will power all had to dig down and find a way to believe in themselves and in their dreams, and you too need to find that place in yourself if you truly want to better yourself.
These men of confidence and determination had to beat lousy doubt riddled thinking into the ground with a hammer. When thoughts of lack and failure once again entered their minds, they beat back those thoughts once again. They fed their mind over and over again with thoughts of confidence, bravery, strength, success and examples of those who had gone before them.
They hypnotised themselves again and again into knowing that they could succeed at their hearts desire. They showed the unrelenting determination and persistence of the Batman who has no place for doubt and insecurity in his mind.
How did Bruce Wayne transform himself from timid child to a mountain of a man? He imagined he was already who he wished to be in his heart of hearts. He then practiced daily over and over being that person, until he was that person. He mentally rehearsed becoming the best most strongest version of himself he could imagine, and built himself into that man day by day, step by step, brick by brick.
Bruce Wayne burst through the barrier of cultural indoctrination and well meaning others who tell us what we “can’t do” in life, and who encourage us to “set limits”, “don’t overdo it” and never do anything truly worthwhile.
Bruce Wayne went to that place where all great men and women must go. Into the very fire of their own being, into the very depths of their psyche. Into the depths of their own heart and soul, and emerged a stronger man. Reborn, with a mission and a purpose. To “BE BATMAN”.
We first build the best version of ourselves in our own mind through imagination – then find a way to create that version of ourselves in the exterior world.
The Batman knows his own mind, his own values and he is confident in and at peace with who he is and what he stands for. While he is tormented by the death of his parents, time and again he reaches deep down into his own psyche and finds a way to rise above his circumstances in life. While he may lose his edge and sometimes his sanity in the comic books, Batman always comes home to who he is. He always comes back to his core mission, and to being the best Batman he can be.
Despite Batman’s numerous failures he keeps trying. He keeps moving forward atoning for his mistakes by renewed unwavering dedication to his war on crime.
Batman’s terrible childhood tragedy could have destroyed him but instead it made him stronger.
Something in that young Bruce Wayne emerged the day his parents died that would later develop into the character we know as Batman. A deep vital feeling that he would leave the world a different place than when he entered it.
One night after months of training his various capacities, in an introspective moment sitting in his fathers chair, Bruce Wayne looks out the window and sees a bat. A moment of inspiration strikes him. He decides to become a self-invented myth. To strike fear into the hearts of “superstitious and cowardly” criminals, to wage a one man war on crime that never ends.
Batman choose to go beyond his own self-imposed limitations, he choose to rise. He choose to reinvent himself. Batman did not just reinvent himself once time. He reinvents himself daily.
While as children we are dependent on others to help us build self-confidence, as adults we must take responsibility for our own sense of self-worth and confidence. If we don’t treat ourselves right, how can we expect others to?
However we feel internally is what we project to others in social situations. The man who feels love and respect for himself loves and respects other people. But the man who feels miserable and worthless inside feels that others are also miserable and worthless. He is incapable of seeing another’s world view.
As adults we can consciously seek out healthy environments to develop all types of skills. We can find clubs, groups, teams etc to be a part of where we practice something we enjoy, and get positive accurate feedback and criticism from others who care about us and want us to succeed not only in life, but in being who we already are.
The man who fears genuine criticism is afraid of change and afraid of growth. To become out best self we must get accurate feedback from trusted sources. We are free to embrace or ignore the feedback from others. But if we consistently get the same message from trusted sources, then there is a fair chance we have a habit or character flaw that needs addressing.
The bullish unthinking idiot continues down a path of self-destruction blindly, the wise man knows he is also an ignorant fool but seeks to improve himself daily.
The wise man considers others people’s point of view but ultimately he is the judge of his actions. Only he knows his true motivations and intentions. Only he can decide what changes may be necessary, what skills he may be lacking, what direction to evolve in next.
I will learn to stand upon my feet and express myself in clear, concise, and simple language, and to speak with force and enthusiasm, in a matter that will carry conviction. I will cause others to become interested in me, because I will first become interested in them. I will eliminate selfishness and develop in its place the spirit of service. – Napoleon Hill
The fire of pain and suffering is not meant to drag us down to make us drown a thousand small deaths. Suffering is there to motivate us to go beyond our personal story and drama, suffering is there as feedback in life that motivates us to better ourselves, to grow, to evolve – not to hold us back.
Men and women of great self-confidence share various traits. They don’t get lost in the “story of suffering” and their personal life dramas. They choose to rise above it.
They tend to have a more accurate view of themselves and their abilities, no matter what other people tell them.
A confident person knows that their own opinion of themselves is a million times more important than any other person’s opinion about them.
They know that are worthy, that they matter, that they have a unique and essential place in the universe.
They know and feel this in every cell in their bodies, in every bone and muscle, in every atom, in every thought, feeling and emotion.
Their essential worth as a human being of the confident man is never in doubt. No matter what troubles doubts or insecurities they may encounter in life, the man of self-confidence knows he has a right to live and express himself and feels himself to be neither superior nor inferior to any other human being on this planet. Regardless of social standing, wealth, status or privilege.
The self-confident man knows he is here for a reason, and he is too busy getting on with his life’s mission to be wasting time indulging in anything other than that. He has no time for naysayers, nor the doubting Thomas’ of the world.
Like Batman we each have our own unique purpose in life, it is up to us find out what that is, to choose our own purpose and live it.
We test ourselves daily in trying out new things, in being unafraid to be who we already are, our unique self.
Being confident in who you are doesn’t mean throwing away all your bad habits and trying to live some impossibly perfect life – that road is a short path to misery. Being confident and at peace with who you are simply means accepting yourself exactly as you are RIGHT NOW in this moment, not in some imaginary future that never arrives.
It means that if you have things you are not happy with in your own character you take steps to do something about that, but you still have to accept yourself where you are right now and not beat yourself up – the world will do that for you.
Being confident means being at peace with your flaws and your strengths and not being caught up in the game of believing you are better or worse than any other person. you acknowledge where you are at in life, and continue to grow and improve in whatever way suits you best. Every person has a right to love and accept themselves exactly as they are.
Push back the mask and Bruce Wayne seems lost and unsure. Slip it on and he becomes someone else, more confident in action, more definitive in deed. On the inside maybe Bruce Wayne is not that much removed from a little boy who lost his parents so very long ago. But Batman—the guy Bruce becomes when he’s in costume—can’t afford to express doubts or insecurity. His mask doesn’t just hide his features: it helps define them. – Paul Asay – God on the Streets of Gotham
Being confident doesn’t mean being a jerk to people and never apologising for anything. It does mean that we work on ourselves daily, beating our bad-habits into submission like Batman beating up some punk in an alley. Not to live to please others but to live an authentic life. A life where we don’t accept mediocrity, excuses and laziness as an excuse for living an unsatisfying life.
We each live the life we choose, and if we don’t like the life we have chosen so far, at ANY time we can reinvent ourselves like Batman did and live a new life. The thing is what you do in life doesn’t matter all that much. The events of your life don’t matter a whole lot, but how you process them and whay you do with them in your own mind DOES matter. Will the events of your life as an excuse to be miserable or as excuse to transcend who you were yesterday?
Being truly confident means that we stand up not only for our own rights, but those of others. The sane man, the confident man admits to his failings and mistakes, but doesn’t let his flaws hold him back, doesn’t use his mistakes or character flaws as excuses for not living the life he intends to live.
What does matter is the energy and attention you bring to what you do.
What does matter is the concentration and focus you bring to your daily tasks in life.
What matters is that you are at peace with who you are and what you stand for. Even when surrounded by people who question your motivations and character, even while you serve the needs others and taking care of them, even when you don’t agree with them. Even when your Bat-Family is telling you to go in one direction, and you defiantly insist on marching in another direction.
At times Batman becomes unbalanced and his Bat-Family plead with him to stop being so self-destructive. Sometimes Batman is right and goes his own path. Sometimes he is dead wrong – be he still goes his own way.
Batman’s will is absolute – even when he is absolutely wrong. Batman follows a course of action to its conclusion. His friends such as Alfred Pennywoth, Jim Gordon and his Bat-Family will still be there after the crisis has passed to support him. Even when Batman truly goes off the deep end they still support him, and sometimes that means they walk away and leave Batman alone until his bout of madness has passed.
What can we learn from Batman?
That it is better to do something wrong with total conviction, than do something right in a half-arsed way.
You learn more by trusting your own instincts that constantly readjusting you values and actions to suit other people. Even when you are wrong, you are wrong with integrity. You can pause and examine your own actions and make changes. You can make mistakes with the awareness of how you will do something differently next time.
Better to make conscious mistakes than unconscious successes.
That is how Batman never truly fails. Whether Batman succeeds or fails he throws himself at life 100%, never doubting himself or his abilities. But when Batman does make mistakes, he later has the introspection and conscious attention to admit them first to himself, then to others. Batman takes actions to correct his bad habits as much as possible.
But life is unpredictable, and we can not afford to drift through life living on auto pilot. We must pay attention not only to what we do but WHY we do it, and when we veer off course – have the wisdom to correct our course in life and the courage to seek help from others when we are unable to do this for ourselves.
There is a difference between beating your self-defeating habits, and being manipulated by others into believing something is a flaw that may actually be a strength.
We must cultivate the wisdom to question our own actions and the effect they may have on others. But not in the middle of when we have already embarked down a particular road. If we are constantly doing U-turns in life, constantly starting new projects and never finishing anything, then we don’t get to that place of satisfaction of having completed and seen the full consequences of our choices.
Leaders who question themselves openly in front of their group sow seeds of doubt with disastrous consequences in those who follow them.
A leader such as Batman must act with total confidence and faith in himself even when he is full of doubts about his chosen course of action, lest the doubt spread to those he leads.
Only after we have made our choices can we in retrospect look back and say we made a bad choice. It is impossible to know the full repercussions of any of our choices in life. We must act and decide with limited information, and not be crippled by doubt and indecision. Rarely is making no choice at all, or hiding from our responsibilities better than making a conscious decision, even if it is later seen as a bad decision.
Our confidence grows the more the more we come to know who we are and what we are about. The more we express ourselves openly and honestly. The more we know our own mind and don’t apologise for who we are and what we stand for, the more we settle into ourselves.
If we want to become like Batman it means owning our faults and flaws, but not using them as excuses to hold us back. Like Batman we become confident beings by living life the best way we know how. We work daily to banish the demons of doubt, insecurity and self-loathing from our mind. We become who we intend to be by accepting ourselves as we already are, while making strides to daily better ourselves. We ask others not to adapt to our bad habits, but accept that we are all beautifully flawed in totally unique ways.
True self-confidence is not about dominating others, getting ahead, being successful in worldly terms or proving anything to anybody. True self-confidence comes from within and is not based on external values.
My will to do springs from the knowledge that I CAN DO. I’m only being natural, for there is no fear or doubt inside my mind. – Bruce Lee
True self-confidence is about inner integrity, about knowing your place in the world, what you are about, what you are for and living that daily. When one lives a life of honest integrity where nothing is forced, nothing is faked, confidence naturally flows from who we are and what we stand for. There is no need for motivational courses and endless marketing tricks, props or supports that elicit temporary euphoria but do not enact real lasting change in the individual’s psyche or daily habits.
To be confident in who we are and how we apply ourselves to our daily tasks may mean starting from scratch, building ourselves up brick by brick. Perhaps we are an expert at kung-fu or sewing or swimming. But then we try Formula-1 racing or building a house or something as simple as mowing a lawn for the first time – and we are back at square one, like a little baby finding its way in the world.
Building our confidence brick by brick means being humble, learning from those who already know that which we wish to learn, and modelling “what works”. The more we immerse ourselves in high quality knowledge, principles, and hands on practical experience, the faster we grow and learn. The more we act on our learning, try, test and fail, hypothesise and try again, the more feedback we get and the faster our confidence, skill and ability grows.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. – Samuel Beckett
True self-confidence then is not about fooling others, but is based on genuine experience in living.
Anyone can “fake” being confident. A man may walk, talk and act “tough”, but the moment he steps into the ring with a professional boxer, wrestler or MMA champ, all that false confidence and bravado goes straight out the window.
The man who learns day by day a little at a time, always making subtle improvements and further distinctions grows in confidence slowly but assuredly. Batman is the man who is forever learning and growing, but like his progenitor Sherlock Holmes he limits his learning to what is relevant to his war on crime.
The man who is unafraid to express who he is and what he stands for daily grows more confident than the man who never lifts a finger to help himself or others. Who never stands up for himself or others, and never expresses his most heartfelt desires or takes any steps towards their manifestation.
Life is action, life is motion.
The universe demands conscious aware people. Life demands that we stand up and pay attention to who we are, and honestly express ourselves. If we never act, we never fail. If we never fail, we never truly succeed at anything. If we never try we never learn from our failures, we never learn to fail better.
Without resistance, without feedback, there is nothing to gauge our efforts against.
Without resistance there is no impetus to grow, no demonstrated lack of ability that causes us to self-assess our own abilities and find them lacking.
To be good at something, to be confident at something, or to be merely confident in who we are, happy in our skin is one and the same thing.
There is no “practice” in life, therefore every day in life is “practice”.
There is no true “winning” or “losing” in life, merely perception. Therefore all we have is our daily lives and how we feel about who we are.
Batman is the man who is daily practicing his skills and talents. He is always prepared, ever alert to opportunity and takes action not in haste, but after careful consideration of the numerous tactical options available to him. Batman focuses his efforts like a laser beam concentrated and unbroken in his intensity.
He treats every rehearsal, every practice element in building his skills as the “real thing”, therefore when faced with true danger he remains calm and detached from the situation. Batman relies on his highly conditioned physical reflexes, his vast knowledge of escape artistry and perhaps his greatest asset – his infinitely flexible mind.
The Batman remains flexible and adaptable in any situation. Able to turn the odds in his favour or pull a victory out of a seemingly impossible situation. His art is that of infinite adaptability and pliability. He is present in the moment, and able to respond in exactly the right way in exactly the right moment, using his calculated precise tactics to the maximum effect.
Give Batman a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and he will move the world.
In a battle with Batman if you give him an inch, he will take a mile. Batman is so confident, strong and adaptable in his abilities that he can take whatever his adversaries throw at him and use it against them. He uses his iron-will and mental abilities to be five steps ahead of any opponent.
What does self-willed mean? Does it mean “having a will of one’s own?” The human herd instinct demands adaptation and subordination, but for his highest honor man elects not the meek, the pusillanimous, the supine, but precisely the self-willed man, the heroes.
– Bruce Lee
What actions we take to change how we feel on any given day give us new opportunities to develop self-confidence. We take action and we get feedback. Whether we succeed or fail in our task we have the satisfaction of knowing that we gave it everything we had. We have the peace of mind that follows living life with integrity.
The man who always has the support of his family, friends and peers may feel confident. The man whom finds himself without tragedy or struggle may feel confident. The man who feels that all things in life come easily to him may also feel confident.
But no man knows true self-confidence who has not also known pain, struggle and defeat.
No man knows true confidence who has not known adversity, hopelessness and been to his lowest of lows.
Batman has been down in the very gutters of his mind time and again. Batman has been at his absolute lowest and he always finds a way to bounce back. He finds a reason to continue, he has the need to RISE like the phoenix. Reinventing himself time and again, turning struggle and adversity into indomitable strength and resilience.
When a man has experienced every kind of horror and rises up, pulls himself back from the depths of despair and desperation, like Rocky, Bond or Batman – he has applied all he learned to bettering himself in every conceivable way. Then he can claim to possess true self-knowledge and self-confidence that is unshakable, that is unknowable to anyone other than him.
People directed by external events and circumstances are unconscious creators, they refuse to be the agent of change. They refuse to be the authors of their own life story.
To these outer directed people, inner directed confident individuals who take their cues not from the world out there, but their own heart and mind in here such as Batman – life is somewhat of a mystery.
But to any who would confidently claim their own self, who would stand up and be who they already are, who express themselves openly and honestly, and boldly march forward – the world makes way for such people.
Living not from a sense of entitlement, but a knowing that life has the meaning and depth that you give to it, that you invest in yourself and in those you love and are responsible for.
The Batman is a man who has explored the depths of his own psyche. He has explored pleasure and pain, he knows true suffering and true joy. He lives as a mountain of a man, unshakable in his convictions.
The Batman lives his life on purpose with total confidence in his abilities and total conviction of his purpose.
Batman knows his actions matter, that he matters and that his confidence in his trained abilities is total and uncompromising.
Faced with impossible situations, deadly encounters, poisons, death traps, ferocious foes and allies alike, The Batman pauses for a breath, savors the moment, for all of this “drama” out here is merely a warm up, merely a respite from his own intense training.
Whatever his enemies put him through, whatever tortures they may dream up to “break” the Batman, he has already willingly put himself through far worse by his own hand.
The Batman know that daily life is mere practice. Every little step Batman takes is feedback, it may destroy him or fuel his greatness. The stuff of life is there for us to experience and use as fuel to transform our own lives. We may not have control over many of the events of our lives, but we always have the ability to choose out attitude to life.
Batman’s confidence is total, he acts like it all matters, but in his heart he knows whatever difference he makes in the world will be insignificant and small, he knows that can not rid the world of crime permanently.
But that doesn’t matter.
Batman throws himself time and again into impossible situations no matter the danger, no matter the risk, no matter if it means today he dines in hell, HE NEVER STOPS.
Batman fights the impossible fight. Batman accomplishes five impossible things before breakfast while we sleep. Why? Because he’s Batman. That is what he does. But also because he chooses to do the impossible. Batman will not accept ordinary limitations saddled on him by society.
Batman dedicates himself to a cause that is unwinnable that will never end, that can only bring pain and misery. He sees all this and laughs, for it is good to struggle. It is good to have a boulder to carry or roll up a mountain every day. For struggle and resistance gives us something to push against, it is how he grow in self-confidence and real world abilities. Struggle and resistance are how we build true strength and iron will. Not through soft living, but through sheer will power and determination.
The Batman struggles and he is grateful for it, how else would he test his limits. How else would he transcend himself.
The Batman rededicates himself to his cause daily. His training never ends. His practice never ends. His determination never ends. His courage, determination and strength of character never end. His life may be defined by one moment of suffering, but suffering to Batman is only another type of knowledge, another of life’s experiences to live and transcend. To feel deeply, passionately and intimately in full awareness, yet not be bound by his suffering.
In a way, however horrible the circumstances that lead Bruce Wayne to becoming Batman, he is grateful because every experience he has endured has made him into the best Batman he can possibly be. Into the man who dedicates himself in service to a higher good, to serving the people of Gotham as their Guardian and eternal protector.
Some train and live and grow weak in the best of conditions.
Some people – like the Batman – forge hearts of iron and minds of steel in the worst possible conditions. They thrive under adversity. The Batman doesn’t shrink away from adversity and challenge in life, he rises like the immortal phoenix, time and again reinventing himself and meeting life’s challenges head on with total confidence, courage, passion and conviction.
He commands body and mind to do his bidding, no matter the external circumstances of his life.
Men of confidence bring their best self forward. Their true self emerges in the white hot fire of pain, difficulty and suffering. They see it all and rise above it, refusing to give an inch, refusing to be a victim, to give up and go home, to crawl away and die somewhere in a corner.
Like Batman, men of confidence have fire in their belly and grit in their eye.
Whether they stand alone or with others, they are naked and unashamed in the world, and they would have it no other way.
Destiny waits for no man.
But destiny will bend and serve those who call it master.
Destiny will serve those whom command themselves to be in alignment with life.
Faced with the choice of being a coward who sinks into mediocrity or being a confident man like Batman who rises – which will you choose?
As for my choice? It’s the same choice I make every day. The one that fills me with determination to face life head on whatever comes my way.
BE LIKE BATMAN!